I wake to fresh silky blood dripping through soft rounds of my divine feminine temple.
It’s a week early and I thank my body wisdom for offering this time of sacred cleanse as I move through a big, yet graceful, transition. This bleed is allowing for more grace to come into the shift from employment by someone else to walking fully in my truth, expressing myself with more freedom, space opening to create the magic that is coming through.
This bleed is helping me shed into a new layer, once again... and opening the space to heal something inside of me to integrate ALL aspects of myself to a new level of Divinity Embodied.
I woke up to a fairly lucid dream re-living a memory of myself as a teenager sorting the soot (physically, mentally, and emotionally) of a recent house-fire, feeling out of place, victimized, confused, and barely floating upon water to make the best of the situation living in my then-boyfriend’s basement. He didn't want me there as a romantic partner - he was absolutely happy to help me out as we loved each other as family, but was I really willing to mold myself and pretend as much as I could to be a part of that white-picket fence family? It certainly had that teenager convinced it was the best option at the time, and honestly, in hindsight, it probably was the best option and I am proud of her for making lemonade out of lemons, given the circumstance.
Though, all of that teenager's posts consisted of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and she (teenager me) was smiling between some tears and the light within her was still present, she was still wounded: she felt unloved. She felt like the world was out to get her, and she felt very, very alone.
My right ovary pulsing as I hit snooze on the alarm and I snuggled into this sensation.. what is the wise womb space ready to release? She was ready to heal the wounded, basement-living, wannabe upper class, in-a-relationship-for-the-wrong-reasons teenager.
I stayed there in my sleepy state, re-entering the lucid dream and changing what I would have from who I am today, with much more awareness, compassion, & self-love.
I let the boyfriend go with deep love & pure acceptance of who he was/is, no longer seeing his inability to meet my needs as something wrong with him/me/us. I rewired the neural networks of the memory that I once believed to be a personal defeat & projection that ‘he is the problem’ which actually was a reflection of my own self-distaste, by re-living them, differently this time - the way I would have handled it from who I am now, from my most magnetic self.
I sent him and his family so much gratitude for giving me a bed to sleep on, joining me at day parties at the laundromat trying to restore post-house-fire clothes and pouring me a fresh coffee in the mornings on my way to summer class.
Some parts of it honestly made it a fun + interesting experience, and I let a smile come in acknowledging these parts too.
My right ovary relaxed.
I thanked my sacred Yoni temple of my ovaries, uterus, and vagina for holding what it did for me as a wounded teenager to ease my pain at the time and also for being ready to let go of it now.
I gave that young girl the kisses on top the head that she yearned for & didn’t receive, as she laid back down to sleep on the pullout sofa of the white-picket-fence house on top of a hill, and made sure she knew that no matter where she found herself, her real home was always accessible & it was so much more than what a physical construction could provide, that it was the light she felt in her heart and the warmth in her belly when she returns back to the love inside, back to her whole, authentic, divine self. I made sure she knew she was lovable and she was loved.
This, my loves, is what I call blood magic.
Art by @tatiana_vedenkina_
As women, our monthly cycle is such a blessing as an opportunity to release and renew each monthly (give or take) cycle. It's also incredibly amazing that our body wisdom will override this, as needed. For instance my bleed coming almost a week early this month felt absolutely appropriate as I honor and move through this transition.
Our wombs hold all of the emotions, conversations, past sexual interactions to some degree, and then whatever is no longer serving, she does her best to release monthly. Especially, if we are nourishing ourselves mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, we allow for it to happen with such grace.
As all of this stored energy is released, we are able to recycle this energy and use it as blood magic... because as the Taoists see it, there is no judgement around negative emotions (sadness, hurt, anger, etc.), it is simply seen as energy. I believe this energy can be re-purposed and used for good: for manifesting your desires, for healing core wounds / inner child, and for physical vitality. Besides that, this divine blood releasing this powerful energy can make your plants grow beautifully, charge your altar, and connect you to your badass ancestral lineage...
I share a lot more about ways to use Blood Magic for yourself in my Flow With Grace complete guide that includes all of the ways to synch with (hormonally what's going on, what you can do you support it through exercise, communicating, archetypes to embody, sex + relating, etc.) and learn to love your cycle. It's included as a part of my Reclaiming Femme 8-wk online course and the guide coming soon for your personal purchase - DM me here so you'll hear about it first, if this is something you're into!